Comments for Pascale Aline

Comment on We broke up: now what? by Pascale Aline

Pascale Aline — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 22:36:46 +0000

Thank you Georgie. I am happy that you find this blog useful. Practical information on this topic and more, love, break ups, separation, divorce, kids is available in the “RebuildingBooks” collection, on Amazon. I use them in my practice, with good effect.

Comment on We broke up: now what? by Georgie

Georgie — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:40:14 +0000

Hi, This was a really interesting article. I’m going to post a link to your blog on mine. Thanks for writing it.

Comment on Emotional Pornography : Neither visual nor physical, but that of the mind and heart by Pascale Aline

Pascale Aline — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 21:22:57 +0000

Thank you for your feedback Norman. I hope that Terrence Real’s ideas, as reproduced in this blog, will encourage readers to become acquainted with this topic. Your suggested links are very useful too.

Comment on Emotional Pornography : Neither visual nor physical, but that of the mind and heart by Norman Wong

Norman Wong — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 15:39:00 +0000

Hi there,
There are some good ideas which are definitely not yours. And they are mixed up with some very poor English. If you want to pass your self on as a professional, please make use of editing services. I have few in mind which I can kindly refer you to.
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yours truly,
Norman

Comment on Conflicts and their resolutions by cna training

cna training — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 03:32:00 +0000

Wow this is a great resource.. I’m enjoying it.. good article

Comment on The Sins of a Relationship by Natalia

Natalia — Fri, 14 May 2010 03:04:52 +0000

Thanks for the great article. Honesty is key. In my case though, I learnt that I need to cool down sometimes before communicating how I feel. I just finished reading Men are From Mars Women are from Venus and that an eye-opener! The Love letter technique described in the book is something that I have been using myself. When you take your time to write out your feelings you can really clarify what is going on for yourself and it helps to cool down as well. I usually take a couple of days to write a letter like this and it is amazing how feelings change every day – feelings are very volatile. But as you keep writing and edditing , you really can get to the most important core feelings that you have about the situation – the essence of what you want, who you are and how you feel about your relationship.

Comment on Break ups – the good ones and the bad ones by pascale Aline

pascale Aline — Fri, 14 May 2010 01:50:46 +0000

Hi Ceme, this topic will develop over time, there is a practical information about this that can be presented. come back from time to time. thank you for the feedback!

Comment on Break ups – the good ones and the bad ones by Getting An Ex Back

Getting An Ex Back — Thu, 13 May 2010 22:12:13 +0000

Well this really is very interesting indeed.Would love to read a little more of this. Excellent publish. Thanks for the heads-up. This weblog was very informative and knowledgable.

Comment on Personality Disorders and effect on partners by pascalealine

pascalealine — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 21:11:18 +0000

Dear J.
To answer point 1: Feelings in normal relationships are of keen expectation to go back to your partner,and share feelings and thoughts, and time, such as for example ” gee, I’m experiencing this right now, can’t wait to tell him/her what it was like”.

Tell tales of dysfuntion/toxicity are : feeling anxious when going back home to the partner, having thoughts such as: “i’m enjoying that experience so much right now, I”D WISH I could tell him/her how it was and how fun it was, (implied: sigh, I can’t”).

If the plexus goes tight, if the heart pains, if the usual colour you view the partner is pale, if the sounds or voices your hear in your head are of longing, sorrow, and of unrealised or unrealisable wishes, or pain, fear, anxiety or frustration, then the relationship is toxic. Trust your guts/intuition. Any form of tension in your body or mind at the thought or presence of the partner is sure sign that something is absolutely not right.

Comment on Personality Disorders and effect on partners by John

John — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:54:29 +0000

Here are some thoughts, as an interested reader:-
1. how do I recognise FROM THE INSIDE that I might be in a toxic relationship? You do begin to cover it – and what you wrote is MUCH more than I read on the other material I found on the internet, so you’re onto a good thing – I think you should cover self-diagnosis in much more detail, more thoroughly, with more examples of what to look out for. Would be very useful to someone who’s got to the stage of looking around for a resource but is not yet sure if it’s entirely necessary to take proactive steps or ask for help. What does it feel like? What sort of self-talk is symptomatic? What sort of actions (automatic / autonomous coping behaviours) give a clue as to the environment I’m being in being hostile? After all, I can only understand my own situation about as badly as fish can comprehend water. I need a picture of what a nurturing relationship is like – and I need a picture to help me recognise my “emotional antibodies” at work and being overwhelmed.
2. First Aid. What can I do, now, for myself, and by myself, to begin protecting myself from the toxic relationship, BEFORE I MAKE ANY DECISION ABOUT STAYING IN IT OR LEAVING IT? This is vital both in the knowledge that I must continue in it for a considerable time – how can I prolong my “sanity-expectancy”, or increase my own emotional resilience, to handle the time before the relationship changes or before I can extract from it? This is vital, and I don’t see it addressed anywhere, whatsoever. It’s where Cathy dropped me, deliberately and necessarily but alas brutally. After all, it’s probably fair to say that all relationships have some toxic elements in them (am I right?), so simply diagnosing a relationship as having gaslighting / crazymaking / etc. in it does not automatically lead to an exit strategy – there must be a ton of things that can be done in marginal cases, which if done early enough and with conviction, might actually turn things around. So, what are those healthy habits that help to maintain my equilibrium and strengthen my environment REGARDLESS of whether my primary relationship is currently nurturing me or destroying me?
3. What are the options (and cost / benefit) for a) staying in the relationship, and b) exiting?
4. THEN you can start to handle those cases which are extreme, where the person is feeling getting increasingly abused and threatened, which require all of the coping strategies to be applied leading up to distancing and exit.