Whenever we change jobs, relationships, homes, countries, or any familiar state, and we move from an old to a new situation, we lose the security of the known and as we let go, we have not yet attained the benefit of the new. It can be an uncomfortable feeling, that of taking a leap of faith without knowing if we’re going to have a happy landing. The transition point is that split-second when we step forward. Before it, there’s frustration as all starts changing, and often fear, even if tempered with expectation and mixed with elation.  This can lead to a lot of circling around until the situation gets too unbearable and we simply at one point propel ourselves out of it. A slingshot effect.   The next effect is normal, we feel loss as we say good bye to that which we leave. Leaving is an action and a choice we make for ourselves. As we land into our new situations, our beliefs are challenged, and we may find our whole set of old habits need rethinking, as they may no longer work in our new situation. Resistance to change is the next effect we experience in a transition, and some of us get and remain stuck in this process. Next follows transformation, as we decide to adapt and experience the new. There’s a possibility at this stage to totally let go and reject the memory and learnings of the old, choosing instead to redefine ourselves as ‘new’ persons.  Getting struck at any of those two stages –resistance and transformation – is maladaptive and unbalanced. Ideally, transformation leads to integration, when there is a bridge between old and new, consisting of memories and learnings, with full adjustment to the new situation. Balance is reestablished  with a new state of awareness.

Author: Pascale Aline

Psychotherapist & Performance Coach, I specialize working with tools for self enhancement, growth, productivity and healing (Biofeedback, EMDR, Mindfulness training)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s